Why you should care?
The truth is that the world has changed.
Along with the world has also the role of the man changed. If you cannot change with it, you are bound to lose to those who do. Or live in the few environments still sustaining old roles and compete for the shrinking pool of women who live in such environments and with similar values.
The past roles and models for men:
In the past the work of man and woman were defined by the need to optimize work in order to get the best possible outcome from few limited resources in order to survive. Men were more physical than women, so it was smart to opt for men to do the physically requiring work while the less physically requiring necessities like household and taking care of children were left to women. This is a hyperbole (and excludes the cultures where this divide is less visible), but you get the point. This division formed solely because the physical and non-physical work both were a necessity for survival, and it was more effective for the family unit if man did more of the physical works. This optimization by division resulted in more well being and free time for both genders and thus was the correct approach for establishing the family structure.
Understanding how and why the traditional roles became to be: is key to understand what value they hold in the current world we live in.
The future is now old man:
Today the necessity to do physical work has diminished massively and instead both men and women are required to work for 8 hours a day to establishing a living. On the other hand we live in abundance where you can have a semi comfortable life without having to min-max every aspect of your life for survival. This leads to a situation where the necessary work of house keeping and childcare that used to be mostly for women, is now to be shared equally among men and women in order to maximize the free time of the whole family unit. It is true that for men the roles on idea level have had a bigger shift than to women (as women used to work / participate in physical work in the past when needed), but that is just how the world currently is.
If men still live in the past and see these necessities to not be their role (or even be beneath them as work only suited for women) we have arrived at the problem. Men who refuse to do the work home, do not provide their whole expected work output for the benefit of the family unit as a whole. Leading to women doing more over all work, and as a result having less free time with men that have old fashioned values compared to men who do these works equally. Furthermore, the attitude matters, as nobody likes to work or live with a person who thinks they are above you and the necessary work you do (even if they still do it).
The hierarchy of needs
The need hierarchy isn’t perfect but a good visualization of the modern shift.
In a society where women earn their own living and society has established rules to protect them. There is no longer need for men in the traditional sense as a provider and protector of the family. This leads to women seeking a partner that can put work on the relationship in the higher steps of the hierarchy pyramid.
This is where emotional skills come in to play in getting and maintaining a relationship. If men have poor emotional skills they will struggle to fulfill those higher level needs that have become a common requirement for women. Of course if a man doesn’t even fulfill the bottom of the pyramid then it’s even harder for them to find a relationship.
In conclusion:
In a world that no longer strictly follows old patterns: men suffer when they follow old roles of what a man should be without understanding where those roles come from. Most jobs that were previously seen as jobs for women, have become a job for both genders. Aspects of human nature like emotions that were seen only as feminine traits (necessary when raising children to become functional adults) are now in high demand for both genders.
When these skills like home keeping and emotional intelligence, both in relationship and in raising children, have now become basic requirements for men to master in order to provide their share of work into the family unit. It is no surprise that any attitudes that try to diminish the jobs and required emotional skills are seen as repulsive by women. Why would any woman want a man that cannot do such basic things that are needed for the benefit of the whole family?